First let me say, thank you to all who have reached out and followed my blog, from my last post (Week 1; My fitness Journey). That was an extremely hard post for me. Yet, here I am again with another update and
full embarrasing photos.
A little discouraged because of recent events. I have been trying my hardest to stay on track with my “diet” and exercise, but life had other plans for me…
S E T B A C K S
This past month I really haven’t been able to do any exercise. During my last pregnancy I found out I had a little buddy joining me other than my baby.
Super common in women but unfortunately, where mine was located on my uterus wall it became an issue.
About 3 weeks ago I had to go get a Hysteroscopy. Which landed me with two weeks of pretty much not doing anything. Lots of cramping but everything went smoothly. Even walking would cause some type of pain. Went back in for my check up and to get a special IUD implanted so it will “cure” my endometriosis and prevent any more fibroids from regrowing.
F I R S T I U D E V E R .
Didn’t really know what to expect but thanks ladies for NOT warning me! They numb you first, which is like a pain from a novocain shot but in your vagina. TMI yet? As my OBGYN does this, she quickly warns me my heart will race and possibly ringing in the ears. I have severe anxiety, especially anything doctor related. Well, now I know why she waited until last minute to give me the warning.
My heart rate jumped from a resting 80 to almost 180! Panic started to set in but thank GOD for Xanax. I haven’t been on anxiety medicine in years but she knew I needed it for this. It seriously felt like I just ran a marathon and went into a complete stop. Worst feeling. Heads up for those who are considering getting an IUD.
“She’s smiling. But don’t let that fool you. She’s breaking inside, trapped in her own mind.”
I feel trapped… Trapped in my body. I know everything takes time, but have you ever just stood there in the mirror, looking at yourself wondering what the F happened?
Well, I have.
All the marks from carrying a baby. Aging taking over. Sun and acne marks. Why can’t I feel confident in my own body? Why did God give me THIS body? Where did I go?
The more I stare the more I can’t breathe.
(For progress photos click here.)
H O P E L E S S
I haven’t stepped foot in a gym in nearly a month. So discouraged and wondering what is the point anymore? No matter how healthy I have been eating and the effort to being active. I see no change! Discouraged doesn’t even begin to describe what I am going through mentally.
I know this post is depressing and negative. But this is real life for me. This is what I am struggling with. Luckily, I have an amazing support team. Between friends, family and husband they won’t let me give up on myself.
“It’s going to be hard, but hard isn’t IMPOSSIBLE!”
There will be times where you feel like what I am feeling, and there will be times where it is so easy to get motivated. Don’t give up. Just keep trying and pushing through all the doubt. You aren’t alone. This isn’t easy. Just a little speed bump but doesn’t mean all hope is lost. I have to do this for myself. I have to prove to myself that I CAN do this.
No one else.
I have to remind myself it’s okay.
It takes T I M E.
T U R N I N G A S E E D I N T O A F L O W E R
After all the mental challenges I have been going through this past month, I realized how passionate I am about helping others going through a similar journey. I decided to take this and run with it. I’m starting a NEW journey. If you see a change on here soon you will know why. I’m taking classes for personal trainer and nutritionist. Crazy right? After all I just shared. You’re probably thinking “how?” Passion. That’s all it takes. Not giving up and doing what interest you. Following what you desire and love.
I will solely be focusing from this point on; fitness, keto diet and healthy kid friendly recipes, beauty finds, and fashion for all you moms. All at a click of button. Free access. NO gimmicks just me helping others while I’m working on myself. Complete honest truth.
Be sure to follow my blog for updates!
Feel free to share your journey through becoming a healthier version of yourself. Would love to hear from you all!
Autumn L. Wood