Week 1; My Fitness Journey.

“I’ve been dreading this post.”

I knew it was going to come. Is it forced? No. Is it my own will? Y E S, but I can still feel nervous, scared, and embarrassed. Just because I’m open to the public about it, doesn’t mean I can’t have these fears. The fear of being laughed at. Judge at. Or to not be taken seriously. This is my real struggle that hundreds of people are going through.

M Y  F I T N E S S  J O U R N E Y 

A little background of how I got to where I was to now. I’ve always been fit since the day I can remember. It started in grade school when I found my passion to play soccer. To my surprise {not to sound arrogant} I was good. Getting into high school ball was ‘easy‘ and my obsession with being fit and strong was growing. I ended up joining, not only soccer, but other sports; cross country running and track-and-field. This was all on top of my other outdoor sports I was into like snowboarding, wakeboarding and swimming. {I’m an outdoors type of gal.}

“Active is an understatement.”

I was kind of a loner in high school. Not because I didn’t have friends, but because I was in a whole different mindset. Everyone was all about the party, the fashion, being “cool.” I was worried about my performance and abs. Sophomore year I was approached by UCLA about a full ride soccer scholarship. A lot of my friends from high school still don’t know about this. Why wouldn’t I share the awesome news? At the time, they just didn’t care, so it never came up. Honestly, they would tease me for even thinking I had a career in soccer.

Junior year I got myself into a little bit of a rebellious stage. Since literally elementary school, my whole life was about focusing on soccer. So when a boy approached, it threw me completely off. Obviously, I have had guys approaching me before but that teenage bug set in. He was cute, came from a good family and he made me laugh. I had to pump the brakes on my training to make time for this new chapter in my life.

D I S T R A C T I O N S  &  S E T B A C K S

Struggling to juggle education,  the boy, friends, and soccer was becoming overwhelming. Not to mention a soccer injury. Over working yourself in sports is something all athletes go through. Exhaustion was setting in and I was getting burned out. The pressure mainly came from the boyfriend. My parents even stepped in at a point and told me to focus my energy somewhere else. My head just wasn’t in it anymore. When the day finally arrived {that I knew was coming} the boyfriend gave me an ultimatum. “Me or soccer.” You can guess what I chose.

Him.

DUMB!

The dumb teenager in me chose the dang boy. I quit cold turkey. Stopped working out so much and had a very interesting, fun senior year of high school. I broke up with him eventually after high school, in Spring 2007. We were off and on for a couple years while we were together. Dated a couple guys in-between the split. I was working and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I had an acceptance letter to ASU but just couldn’t pull the trigger.

“Nothing interested me like soccer did…”

I started a fling that summer. {Actually with my ex’s best friend…} He was joining the United States Marine Corps that fall and I had no interest in having a military guy. Too much work. Well… Long story short we fell in love and only 3 months of a ‘fling’ turned serious.

M A R R I A G E .

We tied the knot in January 2008 and my whole world changed. I had jobs here and there but depression got the best of me. Anxiety was a new battle I was overcoming. The stressful life reflected my overall health. I was drinking a lot, gaining weight and food was comfort. He served 2 tours oversea and 4 years later returned back to civilian life. I was overcoming my mental health battles, getting back into shape. I was finally seeing progress. I felt great. Looked great. Started a new career in Cosmetology. Life was AWESOME. Plus the abs were coming back!

We both were ready to start a family and the insecurities came back. My stomach was ruined by stretchmarks, I was the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I had hips now! Seriously what is this?!

“Mom body.”

I fell into a new category that I thought I would never be in. “Mom body.” Two kids later and my youngest just turned 1, I knew I needed to make that change again. I needed to find an outlet for myself. Not just for my own sanity, but for my childrens. I feel the depression and anxiety coming back. I can’t do it again. I can’t go back to hiding behind clothes. Not be in photos because I’m so self conscious.

I’m missing out on so much.

I have two beautiful, independent girls I’m raising. I can’t expect them to grow up to be strong if I can’t even be that for them. They are looking up to me. That’s what fueled the fire. I feel it in me.

P A S S I O N

I’m back bitches! I don’t care what you think of my ‘mom body’ and all the marks I have. It isn’t pretty. I’m not blind, I see it every day I look in the mirror. I’m not obese to some but I definitely have some extra cushion to lose. I’m definitely not healthy and that needs to be addressed. I can’t stand that being “big boned” or “bigger frame” is the new excuse to not address the main issue. YOUR HEALTH! I would love for those girls to run a mile straight and do a strength test, and THEN come to me and say they are healthy and fit. LIES. All lies!

There is no easy way through this. No short cuts. Yes, there are supplements to help but it is going to be work. Everything in this world that is worth it, involves work! Find a support group and team to help you achieve this. Setbacks are normal but the real challenge will be not giving up after them.

I can do this!

You CAN do this!

Join and follow me on this fitness journey to health and strength. For day to day post follow my instagram page too, @simplyautblog

Peace out mom body. Be gone!

-Autumn L. Wood